Raising Divine Children is equal to raising free children. It can be fun and easy. Children do most of the work. They need immersion in nature and a sense of belonging to a loving mother1.
The mother and the baby need to be surrounded by a loving family, tribe, clan, network, circle, however they define their innate support system. The family needs shelter and food and freedom to develop in the direction of their greatest potential. They all need nature. Without nature they suffer from nature deficit disorder2 leading to instinct injury3 and over domestication4 and the ultimate breakdown of self and society.
Instinct, insight, intuition and intention are inherent and needed for mothering/parenting/grandparenting and can be developed if latent or wounded. If you feel you are instinct injured or live with nature deficit disorder, reach out. Read some of the reference material in the footnotes. Gather with like minded parents and talk about your misgivings, concerns, doubts and desires. First and foremost, take your child into nature and observe their free movement. The child will show you the way back to your own instinctual nature and a way to live easy in your skin and to develop your mind in harmony with the intelligence in nature.
Nature has a way of getting children out of their heads and into their sensual, instinctual bodies. Healing for the body, breath, psyche, spirit of a child, and all of our inner child, happens spontaneously with unstructured time in nature. The Power of Nature builds instinct, intuition, intelligence, intention. Show your child the wind. Touch a leaf. Smell a flower. Study a cloud. Create a nature's altar in your home with the treasures you find on your journey in nature. Create a stone altar. It only takes three stones to make a Cairn - the stone altar we find all over the world indicating humans have left a blessing or prayer on that spot. Leave one wherever you go. Write me and say, "YES WE DID!" I will know what you are talking about. Tell me your name and the location and I'll share the good news on this website. It can be our visual message as a one world family that we are living closer and closer to reclaiming ourselves as conscious instinctual beings.
My heart leaps for joy when I am walking in the USA or Mexico or Russia or England and come upon these ancient symbols of grace. We could evolve the ancient symbol of "prayers" to symbolize "civilizing civilization for children", There is no greater prayer than the joy and laughter of a little child. Children LOVE making stone altars. Our stone altar could show that “a child has been here". And our prayer? May there always be a place in nature for children.
Having midwifed thousands of children I know that mothers/fathers/grandparents:
Love their baby/child
Want the best for their babies
Believe they are doing the best/right thing
Often lack the support they need to do their best
"Mother the mother so that the mother can mother the child" is an obvious ideal for the new motherbaby relationship to thrive yet is nearly absent in most modern family units. Mothers are isolated in separate homes often with other children as well as the new baby.
Whether in a stressed home or school or social environment, the realities that most children live with, often daily, is bullying, coercing, threatening, rushing, belittling, frightening, punishing, alienating, demeaning, isolation both physical and emotional. Yet their need for attachment, for belonging, for survival, keeps them wanting the same relationship with the adults around them that cause them such pain. Their struggle to express their desires/needs at the most basic levels of early and developing communication is not given the same weight as an adult who would be expressing their needs in similar ways. Our current social norm is to respond to an adult's tears and ignore the cries of a child.
Here is an example. At a private swimming pool this summer there was a family visiting from abroad. The mother, with scowl and harsh voice, called her 4 year old to her side and threatened him, grabbed his arm and hit him repeatedly on his back and bottom. Using a low voice with demeaning, insulting and over powering language, she shouted,"NO means NO! STOP means STOP! You can have NOTHING! YOU get NOTHING!" The little boy with beautiful blond hair and blue eyes searched her face for love, not grasping what he had done wrong. He had been playing with other kids in the pool, tormenting and being tormented by his older sister. I was near by. I stood up and walked toward them and stopped, placing my body nearer the child but somewhat between them. The hitting had stopped by the time I reached them. I looked at her. What I saw was great hardness, anger, powerlessness in her own life, maybe rage. It seemed to have nothing to do with the child. I just looked. She stopped shouting and said, "You can go now," to the son. I smiled at him. I turned and said to her, "You have a beautiful son." She softened and said, "Thank you." I went back to my chair.
I wanted to be able to say, "It's illegal to hit children here." I wanted to say it to the child,
The Emancipation of Children is a Human Rights Issue. Visit the UNICEF website regularly to see the latest on the global movement to insure and promote the human rights and full citizen rights of children. There is not a single statement about the emancipation of adolescents that cannot and should not apply to children of all ages. Their basic and instinctual and ignored communication is no excuse for denying them rights anymore than denying rights to any group of people based on color, creed, gender, language or any other perceived barrier of inferiority is legitimate or humane.
Beyond a world of "negatives" we are dedicated to creating a world where children have equal rights and access to basic human rights including a deep sense of belonging, natural birth and wellness options, respectful home environments, support of individualized education, easy access to nature, community, creative expression, the right to voice, vote, vocation, view and the right to develop to their fullest potential.
We have a current society that uses the false screen of "safety" to control and diminish the life force of the largest portion of humanity, making them property, slaves and legally powerless - children. If children were legally emancipated at 16, we would get that we have to let go by 15. If they were not legally emancipated until 40, we would hold on until 39. That is what has and is happening. We have made an entire nation/world of ill functioning adult children, totally uncomfortable in their skin or their own natural environment. By the thousands they are running home to mama in their 40s. They are lost, scared, sad, drugged, angry, sullen, depressed and hopeless.
As children, they still have the drive to pursue life with vigor. Even when told no and threatened with harsh punishment, they will sneak out, climb out, burrow out, buddy up, leave home, leave town, seek freedom. Because deep in their bones, they know it is what makes all things possible. Without it, the soul shrinks, the body withers, creation dies; the light in the eyes become distant, empty of the merriment natural to the state of a thriving young creature.
| Society is changing, a big shift is underway. Many of the global and great thinkers are seeing/knowing that the spirit, the soul, the well being of a life form has to do with deep, inner and abiding happiness. It has to do with a natural state beyond survival. As we develop concrete language about the "nots" - not hitting, not assaulting, not harassing, not demeaning, not allowing to choose where they live, who they will live with, etc., we need to be strong in participating and inviting the rise in consciousness toward what nurtures the soul of a child - meaning love and freedom - a sense of belonging and the creative expression of their own true nature. They need space, room to explore, change, express, move about, feel, touch, be with the natural environment, experience their fullest potential within their own environments to see what they are capable of. From birth, one week, one month, one year and beyond, there is an inner knowing. No one on the outside determines that nor creates that inner knowing for another. Freedom and the individual define inner knowing through experience. The fact that humans did and can live along cliffs and not "fall" off or be 12 years old and run plantations is not mystifying. It is natural. It can lead to brilliant world leaders like George Washington and Ghandi and Sacajewea.
Nature's goal for every child is thriving maturity.
As for your child, it is not too late. May their eyes sparkle and may s/he play in the grass, find a creek, follow a butterfly, dig in the dirt, howl, screech, scurry and find the welcomed lap of the mother where eyes meet and laughter or song follow.
Born in or into Captivity?
Was your baby and your new mother soul born in captivity, into a controlled environment? It matters. The next question matters more. Is your baby born into captivity every day? Every day you can do something to return the innate freedom s/he was heir to at birth.
Maybe you were born in captivity where there was little freedom to follow your untamed nature and you are struggling to free your own inner child. To find your own instinctual life, watch your child. Your child will lead you into spontaneous, instinctual and authentic living.
When you start the day, don't rush the transition from their world to your world. Give eye contact. Give a warm hug. Ask them how they slept and if there were any dreams. When you speak to them, say their name. Slow down and squat down and reach down and reach in and don't rush. Soon they will be grown and gone and the day you rushed through will be the day you long to relive. Children do most of the work of growing up and do so with great ease with such a simple life. Modern life for parents makes it hard to keep life simple and sacred. Here's an example of a challenge one mother was facing in the modern world and the wisdom answer of a child.
Situation: What can I do with my 16 month old who bangs at the large screen TV?
Concern: Hurting TV or herself. Kalista, San Diego CA
Response: Get her interested in something else. Sequoia, age 7
Key Word: Interested
I remember a distraught mother at a La Leche League Conference asking Dr. Herbert Ratner, child developmentalist, back in the 1980's, "What do I do with my 4 year old who refuses to eat what I prepare and will not sit at the table with the family at dinner and rudely leaves before dismissed?" His simple and straight forward response in front of hundreds of people was, "Madam, I propose that you are the one that is rude."
Raising Divine Children - Children Into Nature
Launch date: January 2013
Launch location: San Diego, CA, USA spiraling out world wide
Write to firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule an experiential forum. Meanwhile, trust your instincts.
Respect your child's instincts. Love your child. Love yourself first.